I Still Love You, Too

Well it went on like that and all along I pretended as if I was “Okay” with everything. I was there acting like matters were resolved and I wasn’t mad at her and I did all of that for the sake of our relationship I wasn’t going to lose her again. I could see that she still thinks about her lover even though she tries to hide it. She was trying so hard so hard sometimes you could see that she wanted to break under pressure. Things started going south because of her thinking of her lover while with me, the intimacy and the love I used to receive was all gone. We were just not connecting anymore. We had started having more fights than we had happy moments or times. And because I really loved her I started to do things that I never did before, I took her out more often, bought her expensive gifts, the works. Believe you me I even bought an engagement ring! All that because of I still love her, regardless of everything that she did I wanted to make it work.

While I was busy spoiling her and trying to make her happy I forgot about the most important thing that I needed to take into consideration while I was doing all this for my lady, which is my happiness. So this is when I started a few of my own affairs, I know it doesn’t sound fair that I was actually trying to do the same thing I didn’t want her to do but what is a guy to do when he is in a relationship but still feels single? Before you judge my decisions, stop and ask yourself what you would do if you were in my shoes and keep in mind that you are deeply in love with your partner.
So I started these affairs and fooled around, to tell you the truth it felt good! For the first time after a while I could feel that I was back to being the old me. And it’s not that I didn’t cheat before, I never got caught. Which is the basic principle of cheating, never get caught!

Like the saying goes “It Ain’t Cheating If You Don’t Get Caught”

So I started falling out of love with her, love faded away. Great, now I had to tell her how I feel and I did. As much as it was hard to express those feelings it was just something I couldn’t hold in forever, at one point those feelings had to come out and the time was now. Yes she didn’t take in the news too well and this is when included her parents into it, typical bitch. [Excuse my language but that was just too childish of her to do]. I never ran to my parents when she slept around. Our parents didn’t know that she was with her supervisor while I was at work and they didn’t even get to know about the first break up. Well she wouldn’t have told them the truth about it anyway but I did it for both of us, having to answer to the parents about your personal relationship sometimes is just a lot of work and yes most family feuds arise from that which was something I didn’t want to see happening.

To cut the long story short, parents intervened and showed us the light and we got back together again. But this time it was all so different because I hated everything that she did, hell I even hated it when she looks at me. She kept on telling me of how I will fall back in love with her and how things will return to how they used to be before, you know all those things that girls normally say as soon as they realise how much they really messed up things for themselves. Now I was stuck with someone whom I don’t know what the future holds for us. Will things ever get normal? Will we ever go back to the days where things were all just gold and platinum between us? I had so many questions of which I really had no answer to but I still hated her.

We started having days whereby when we didn’t talk to each other and we would pass each other like strangers in the room. You could tell by the way she used to look at me that she was hurting but hey that’s what one gets for destroying something that was so ever beautiful right? She couldn’t take it anymore so she decided to break the silence told me that we needed to talk about us and our future. I was very keen on hearing what she had to say so I agreed to talk. She said that before she went and told her parents about our situation she decided to break things off with the supervisor for good this time. So when we went and actually received wisdom from our parents she was already done with him. That was like six months ago and I decided that I you know what maybe this girl is telling the truth and I should just resolve matters and try to take things back to the way they used to be. We talked of all possibilities of how we are going to work this all out and we finally reached an agreement that we are going to make this work for the better and this is when we shared a laugh and everything was just back to normal. We resolved each and every issue that we had.
After that day she decided to find another job and when she got it she quit the one she was currently at because she felt that she couldn’t face her supervisor anymore. I was fine with that because I just didn’t want to fight with her anymore. I ended all my affairs and me and her just lived a happy life together.

This is just a simple story that explains a concept that people in a relationship seriously don’t take into consideration, “Communication”. Simple yet people find it so hard to do, most peoples relationships last because they talk about things that worry them. If there’s something you are uncomfortable with that your partner is doing let them know. Not talking sometimes leads to misunderstandings and people tend to jump to conclusions. Avoid that by talking with the ones you love it might turn out that you were actually wrong about something / they were.

“Communication is the solvent of all problems and is the foundation for personal development” – Peter Shepherd

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