“After matric I went and studied at one university in the country and I met a guy during my second year there, you remind me of him so much but it’s like he was the BETA version and you are more like the 2.0. He treated me the best way a guy knew how. He was a smooth talker, always made me laugh, a gentle and very charming young fella. He was just the best thing to happen to happen to me and he just made me fall and believe in love again. I mean I haven’t had anybody that made me feel like that in a long time, he just made me feel whole again.
So we started dating and we went out for 4 years after that. I have to say the beginning stages were probably the best to happen in our relationship. First 2 years were great, no, no scratch that everything was just perfect. Until we started fighting.
For the first few moths the fights we had could be resolved before things got out of hand. It was all great, up until we decided to get married. His proposition was just out of this world, we went shopping for groceries and in the middle of the mall he just went down on one knee in front of a mall packed with people. I mean you sure do understand how malls get when its month end and in love as I was I said yes. Lobola negotiations went on and everything was going exactly the way I wanted it to be. I was getting married to a man who loves me and I felt the same way. Planning the wedding was extraordinary, it was my chance to put all my fantasies of a dream wedding to life. While I was excited about my wedding plans he brought something to my attention that I never thought he would say. He kept a secret from me for the past six years.
Turned out he was doing the do with the girl we used to fight over, the one who was apparently his “cousin” from his father’s side. I tried hard to believe him but a few days before our wedding when he decided that he will no longer be keeping secrets from me I knew everything was going to come crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. He told me that by the time we met six years ago he had already made this other girl pregnant during his high school days and they have a daughter who was now 11 years old. He told me how much he tried to tell me about her but the way things were just going great for us he wasn’t going to spoil the moment. I was mad at him but I accepted the fact that he has a daughter from a previous relationship that I could do nothing about. I called my mom and told her about everything and all she said was that it was all up to me, whether I accept my future husbands’ daughter and spend the rest of my life with him or I could just call everything off. I loved him too much to leave everything now. So what he had a kid before and she’s all grown I will treat her like my own I don’t care, worst mistake I ever did.
So the day came and me and him finally got married, we said our “I do’s” and everything was settled. I finally got to meet his little princess and seeing her made me wanna have children of my own with my newly wedded husband. A few weeks after we got married is when he started to show off his true colors probably the reason why his baby mama didn’t want to marry him in the first place it was because she knew how he was. He would get aggravated over small things and this is when he started abusing me physically I would have bruises all over my face and every time I met up with friends I had to cover up and if I couldn’t hide it I would come up with a stupid excuse like something bit me or I ate something I’m allergic to and now it’s reacting. I just couldn’t tolerate his nonsense anymore so I wanted out of the marriage. Our parents and uncles met and they tried to resolve the issue thinking that they would side with me but things didn’t go my way they sided with him because he came up with stories like “I’m not a respectful wife” and “I never cook for him”, it was funny because those were the things I did the most. Since the matter couldn’t be resolved in my favor he beat me up so bad I couldn’t see clearly from my left eye for a week and I still loved him somehow. Even thou I was pushed to go lay charges against him I couldn’t do it. The beatings went on long enough and this is when I decide I’m not going to take it anymore. I went and laid a charge, scary as it was I was the one who was suffering and I needed to do something about it.
I asked for a divorce but he never signed the papers so we were separated and he could sleep with any girl he wanted, just as long as it ain’t me. After that he finally signed the divorce papers and we haven’t seen each other since. I have been trying to move on but the people I have been with didn’t really uplift me or help me get back on my feet. This was until I we met. You coming into my life is the greatest thing to happen to me, and trust me when I say that I haven’t told anyone I have been with what I am telling you now. This is just how much I trust you.
All I want to tell you is that I love you and if you were to leave me now it would hurt me but I’ll understand. So what do you say?”
To Be Continued…
Since we still celebrating 16 Days Of Activism Against Women & Children Abuse. Just wanted to send a message to all Men out there that laying a hand on a women is wrong. NEVER ever lay a finger on a woman, Stop with the Rape & Abuse
My Name Is Chriz Raymond And This Is My Story