My Love Addiction

I don’t like to call myself by any names to justify the goodness a,d the slick way I talk to women. Words like, “the best” or ” the man with the silver tongue” or anything else for that matter. See I have talked my way out of many sticky situations because:

1. I know how to act.
2. I know how to put a couple of words together to go with the situation and lastly
3. Because I have the innocent face to go with it all.

Anyway I know I am good with this kind of stuff because I am really convincing. I once convinced this other girl that she was the best thing to ever happen to me because she was loaded and she provided for me when I didn’t have jack and all I had to do was pretend I love her, pipe her and make her feel special. We dated her for about 8 months before I left her without saying another word.

I know you might be reading this and thinking to yourself, “Chriz is so heartless” yes that’s what many people think, that I don’t have feelings for anybody but myself. Well that’s partly true but people don’t seem to get the reason why guys like me are like this.
Let me bring you up to speed, at one point every guy was that loyal, loving, caring and good guy that every girl dreams of but it just had to take that one girl to change it all for them. I’m talking from experience here. And from that point on we are never the same.

Anyway back to me. I’m a good liar when it comes to matters of the heart. See I can sweep a girl from her feet by just putting the right words together and make her forget about anything else. That’s my strong point, “WORDS” and then comes the weak point and something I hate about myself “ACTIONS”. When I find the right girl i sweep her off her feet and tell her everything she wants to hear, the problem with that is:

I never realize I got the right one until its too late. I can say whatever and make her believe me but i can’t act on it. I told my last girl I love her and when she asked me to prove it i was turned into stone I didn’t move an inch and she didn’t believe a word I said from there on. Now I lost her and I cant get her back (but that’s another story for another day)

I just wish I could just be the guy that doesn’t have to lie to get a girls attention or to date her.

I just wish i didn’t have multiple personalities that confuse my better half and myself.

I’m not saying I want to be perfect. I’m just saying I’m tired of the phrase:

“We human we bound to make mistakes”

I for one have made many mistakes in my life but the fact that I’m accustomed to making the same one with each and every girl that is the one for me is worrying me.

… I guess this Love Game wasn’t meant for me, tired of having regrets and making bad decisions. When all is lost and they have moved on i am the one left crying my heart out, smoking more and drinking more to get over some things.

I just need help. Please, anybody? Somebody?

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond And This Is #BrokenSilence.

L E T T H E W O R D S S P R A Y

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