Numb The Pain

You know what’s coming, you’re expecting it to hit at anytime but honestly no matter how ready or prepared you think you are you’re not ever ready for how it all feels.

When one is dealing with heartbreak you find all methods to try and numb the pain. Once upon a time I tried self harm, to those that don’t know what self harm is let me bring you up to speed. Grabbing a razor and cutting your skin, mostly done on arms but I met this other girl who did it on her waist. This is a really painful process, you inflict pain on yourself in hope that the bleeding will pour it out.

I’ve done many methods of dealing with pain, drinking, smoking, failing to acknowledge what happened, talking about it, writing about it but of all things I found one really really good. And that is SLEEPING. I spend all night in bed thinking about it being hurt and broken about it. Feel my heart sink as I fight back the tears. Then I spend my day sleeping the pain away. Yes its not healthy I know but who cares?

Nothing is as painful as finally finding the one girl/guy you been looking for and by the one you looking for I mean a true mirror reflection of you. You like the same things, you basically have all in common. And then it doesn’t work out the way you wanted or expected it to work. So you sit there alone trying to figure out “Where it all went wrong” but nothing adds up.

Feels like cupid shot me at the right spot to make me fall in love and then came back with a stronger arrow that shot straight through my heart and scarred my soul.

My Name Is Chriz Raymond And This Is #BrokenSilence


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