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I once met a good girl
But at the time
She had a man yo
Said she couldn’t date me
But we can still be friends doe
Her boyfriend
Hated that kid bro
Treated her just like a hoe
Like she trash all on the floor
He cheated her
With every Fvcking chick
Then goes back to her
Like it ain’t nix dawg
All I ever wanted
Was to punch this kid bruh
But Im chilled
I ain’t with the shvt bruh
The mami game
Was hella proper
Wit the steeze yo
And sometimes I’d look at her
And just wanna hit boi
The fvckboi
Don’t care about her
Anyway
He fvcks her
Then its back
To his cheating ways
He saw a dumb bitch
That’s on call at any time
I saw a dumb kid
That’s busy playing
Wit a dime
She always praying
That she break the cycle
Back at home
Daddy never ever cared
Mommy Fvcking everywhere
Showed her the light
And now the girl is really mine
She found me and knew
That I will always make her smile
I found her and knew
That I will be balling for life
Wont hesitate
To get a ring
Make her my wife
Called me
Her one and only
Her true lover
With me she never lonely
Coz I lover her
And see that
Was all I ever wanted
For her
One fateful day
Im kicking it
Having a jol
Then suddenly my girlfriend
Received a phone call
Its the hospital
Calling bout the fvckboi
Telling her he critical
The car he drove
A write off
She hung up
Broke into tears
Im looking at her
And now im really scared
I asked her what’s wrong
She couldn’t even
Say a word
Grabbed her bag and took off
Left me lying on the bed
I gave chase
Knowing that something is wrong
Caught up
Looked her in the face
And said what’s really going on?
She looked at me and said
I cant really talk about it
Its nothing major
So please baby
Don’t worry bout it
Got in a cab
And headed straight
To the hospital
She pacing in the hall
Coz his chances are minimal
10 minutes later
Homie didn’t make it
He lost alot of blood
And the doctors
Couldn’t help him
She went home
To find her mom with a new man
Locked herself inside her room
Grabbed a paper and a pen
To my dear mother
Im tired and I’ve had enough
I hope you find
A good man
No more new daddy’s Ma
My first love
Is in a better place
They say he was too drunk
And got into a drag race
He was drinking alot
Because of me
If I never left him
He won’t be in that space
He’d still be here
Brushing my hair
Kissing my face
To my dear true love
Chriz Ray
I just wanna let you know
Its been great
Thank you for all the love
And the cheese cake
I hope you find
A girl
That loves you as you did me
Yours truly
Well I can’t say her name
She pulled out a shoe box
With no shoes in it
All it had was a gun
She got in the streets
Tears running down
The cheeks as she held the piece
Said a prayer
And then she put the gun
On her head
A loud bang
Was all her mother ever heard
Ran to her room
And found her dead
On the bed

Dear Future Mrs. Raymond [The 9th Letter]

Time :04:12 AM CAT
Date: 14 May 2016

Dear Future Mrs. Raymond

I am writing this letter this morning deeply hurt and in pain. I haven’t slept a bit, I keep tossing and turning.

Usually when its raining I find it real easy to sleep but I’ve had a problem sleeping this morning (well technically it is morning). I have been thinking a lot, about myself, my future and what I would like to achieve in life. Yes, a man on a mission to reach his goals that’s me, but here’s the thing despite me thinking about those, you kept popping up in my head. So I stopped thinking about everything else and the focus turned to you, and when that happened I couldn’t stop the tears from coming out my eyes and falling on the pillow. I know you probably reading this and you’re confused as to whether I had tears of pain or joy coming out my eyes, allow me to indulge you.

These tears are of pain. I wrote letters pleading for you to come forth and reveal yourself. I’ve met a lot of girls whom I thought were you but they weren’t. I’ve been through a lot trying to find you, I broke hearts and I’ve had mine broken in the process.

I recently came across my Primary thru High School crush. Me and her didn’t talk a lot back in the day coz I was scared to approach her but we’ve always been on good terms. Anyway we’ve been talking and we finally had something going on, it was awesome but the matter of fact is that this is the right person for me, but the timing of our meeting wasn’t good because I was sorta seeing someone else.

3 days ago she was raged and she decided we should stop what we were busy with. I tried to accept it and let it all go until I was all alone in the dark searching through the treasures in my mind when it hit me like a football getting closer.

I jumped out of bed and opened my laptop to read all the letters I sent you and I was right I could feel it in my stomach too. The hairs behind my back stood up and I felt my hair clinch like there was Paranormal Activity happening close by. I got mad at myself and I started looking for something sharp just to let all this pain, guilt and anger within me go out. Yes I wanted to self-harm myself the way I was so angry at me.

I turned the light on and looked at myself in the mirror for about 10-20 minutes, my eyes were focused on the man in the mirror while the tears dropped down freely like a waterfall but my mind was busy playing with my emotions. My heart was beating fast so much so I could hear the heartbeat in my ears.

I took my phone and logged into my blog and I went through every letter I ever wrote you and there was only one letter that hit home when I read it.

I realized that this here girl has been the Mrs. Raymond I’ve been looking for all along. I realized that everything I’ve ever written in the letters are true and that’s what has been happening between us all this time.

Isn’t it funny how we never realize the worth of what we have until the point where by we loose it and its hard to get it back? Well its funny how when I get serious its the wrong girl but as soon as I play, I’m playing the right girl.

Let’s take a little trip down memory lane and let me take you back to the first ever “Dear Future Mrs. Raymond” letter posted on the 1st of June 2014, where I said:

“The last thing I want is to meet you and have all this excess baggage that will keep us from being united and grow together. I don’t know who you are, what you look like or what you sound like. I can guarantee that I will be so attracted to you mentally, spiritually, and physically. And I will do whatever it takes to make you happy, even if that means waiting years to be with you.”

Reading this passage I realized everything I ever said on it is true and she is the one.

I also said:

“Why aren’t we making out right now? Let’s just stay up and pretend to watch a movie before the week starts.

I hope you’re ready for the most random man you have ever met in your life. I can’t wait to fall in love with all the things you hate about yourself so that you can start loving yourself as well.

If enduring pain, braving shame, despising one’s self for the sake of affection and accepting misery without question is the definition of LOVE, then I LOVE YOU Future Mrs. Raymond.”

And after reading it I realized that right now I have just lost you my Mrs. Raymond. I’ve been writing all these letters looking for you and when I finally meet you after years looking I completely mess it up and I lose you. I’m sorry but that just can’t happen, I LOVE you and I wanna be with you.

If being with you means that I should just drop everything else then I’m willing to do it.

If being with you means that I should make up more time just so I can spend it with you then so be it.

All in all what I’m trying to say is that I will do anything possible just to be with you.

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond and I lost my Mrs. Raymond. And I’m hoping through this letter and my actions I will get her back.

B R O K E N S I L E N C E
L E T T H E W O R D S S P R A Y

If I Could

“Now I just spend all this time, trying to make you smile. If I could I would go back in time and make things right.”

Those words are repeatedly playing in my head, I would say like a song but those words actually come from a song I did called “If I Could”.

I don’t wanna go into detail about the song coz it just pains me that I went in studio and recorded it the same time I was left.

My name is Chriztopher Raymond and this my letter to you.

First and foremost I would like to apologize to you because in all honesty im the one that put you in the position that you’re in right now. I know you wont believe that “I never meant to hurt you” line because you’ve probably heard it a thousand times before.

This just feels like deja vu. We went through the same thing last time and yet here we are again. Fighting over some other girl that’s ruining our happiness. I cant help but fight back tears as I write you this letter. Im mad at you because you led me to believe that we were never gonna be, that you don’t believe in love anymore because of the heartbreak you’ve been through. But then again I’m mad at myself for the most part because we had a great vibe going on and I just had to ruin it by going back to the same girl as soon as you pushed me aways because I didn’t think you wanted me anymore. And as soon as things were up and running with her you came back like you felt it.

Instead of me pulling you back everytime you pushed me away I actually let you. Stupid me. And I say it again STUPID ME!! Everytime you give me a chance to a better life I keep blowing it, and this is the second time and I highly doubt that you are gonna give me a third one.

Isn’t it ironic how everytime I find the girl I want I just fvck up all because I cant see what she has to offer.

I read a quote that said:

“Men cheat not because they don’t see what they have but because they are paying more attention to what they’re missing rather than what they have”

Now all I ask for is not much, all I ask for is that you let me know how you really feel about me and if there’s anyway in Heaven me and you can be together.

Secondly all I ask for is that you tell me what you want from me, your expectations and everything.

And lastly I ask for your forgiveness and babe wont you please come back home.

“Breaking up is really hard to do. I don’t know what I would be without you. I need you. I need you. Coz I don’t know what I would be without you.”

My Name is Chriztopher Raymond and This Is #BrokenSilence

Dear Future Mrs Raymond [The 8th Letter]

Hey there.
Before I get into this letter there are 2 points that I would like to raise.
First of all I would like to apologize for not writing you for a while. Just had a lot going on for quite sometime now. The hustle is too much but I’m coping taking it one day at a time.
Secondly I just want you to know that you’re on my mind everyday and I still wonder what our first meeting would be like and what type of person you are.

This is not your ordinary “I Love You and I wanna be with you letter” yes I said those words from the heart and they came deep but these word arr coming from the heart deep down right next to pain.

I met a possible Future Mrs. Raymond and I thought that I had found you already but that wasn’t the case. See what I actually found was a woman who liked me for the person I am and everything. Wishes to have a boyfriend like me but isn’t really ready to give me her heart.
So here’s how the story goes.
I was given this here girls numbers by our mutual friend. We started texting each other and everything was going very well until this certain point where we realized that we actually have a great connection.
The way we talked was just on another level, we understood each other, have a lot of things in common and we generally love the same stuff.
This girl makes me feel some type of way, everytime she send a text I’m all smiles.
Ever had that one person that could just text you at any given time of the day no matter how bad your day is and they just brighten it up?
They just make everything about your day awesome. Now bear in mind that me and this girl have just been talking on the phone and have never actually really met. So we started discussing our meeting, when its gonna be and all that. It failed a couple of times until one fateful day we were to be at the same place at the same time. A friend of mine was hosting a show and she was to showcase her talents and I was to do the same. So in preparation of this coming show I called up my friends who I trust when it comes to handling the mami game (women in our slang), who agreed to go in with me at the show and handle business.
It was the day of the show which was happening a bit later and here I am trying to call this here girl and text her but im getting no response. So it left me thinking that maybe she blocked me. I mean there’s nothing left to do because I’ve already been trying to get to her for the past 4 days with no luck.
So me and the homies and to the show and here’s this girl, so im trying to make sure that it’s her from the pictures I have of her and yes it is her and as soon as I realize it’s her I knew I had to approach her but she was way ahead of me.
She came to me and we started talking for a bit just so we knew each other ams make sure we recognized each other. Hugs galore and laughs galore and it was finally time for me to head out and we promised to stay in touch.
She told me that she broke her phone and she will get back to me as soon as she gets another one which she did. I broke down my feelings for her as soon as she came back online and she told me she just don’t love me like that. Which broke my heart because I really like her. We’ve been talking since then but im still hurt at the fact that she loves our conversations, my personality and everything else but doesn’t see me as a potential boyfriend. Even found out that she was lying about being single, which broke my heart worse. So im still hurting at the fact that she sold me dreams.
Do you understand the pain you’re taking me through? I mean I am busy going around looking for you and yet I meet all these people that keep breaking my heart. What is a guy like me to do in order to find a girl like you?

I’m hurt that I thought that I found you but it turns out I met another dreams seller.

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond And I Thought I Found My Mrs. Raymond.
L E T T H E W O R D S S P R A Y

Dear Future Mrs. Raymond [The 7th Letter]

Hey Beautiful

You will have to forgive me for not writing you something special this Valentines Day but I was just so soaked up in emotions that I wasn’t even thinking straight. Maybe its because I needed you by my side or I needed talk to you. But then again I hope this letter reaches you in time since I’m still looking for you.

Today I quote a beautiful song by the most talented artist I know.

He is a poet, an Emcee and just a great overall rapper.

He goes by the name Wale, and the song in question today is from “The Album About Nothing” its called “The Bloom (AG3)

In this song he is describing this girl aa a blooming flower. Same way I see our relationship once it stars.

I’m just going to pick up my favourite pieces off of it. So here it goes:

“Just let me hold you in a dark place/
And when it’s cold let me warm thee/
I know we both come from hard times/
Cause I’m aroused you a rose of the concrete/”

I will be your everything because I will make sure that i understand the struggles you’ve been through whether we talking about school, love life or just life in general.

“You don’t have to worry about comfort/
I’m the safest place that you wanna be/
No longer do you have to wonder/
Just open up and spread your wings/”

With me is where you belong and yes we have both been through a lot but I promise to learn from my past mistakes and just build with you.

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond and I’m Looking For My Mrs Raymond

L E T T H E W O R D S S P R A Y

Dear Future Mrs. Raymond [The 6th Letter]

Hey you 😊

Hope you having yourself an awesome day and I hope that you’ve had a fruitful week. To be honest with you I’ve been thinking about you alot these past couple of days, you will have to forgive me for not writing you for a few days but my schedule has just been hectic.

A friend of mine introduced me to this other Jeremih track called “Oui” and since then it has been stuck on repeat. I think its safe to say that its my favourite song at the moment I hope it will be yours too. It goes a lil some like this:

“See my baby know, where my baby go, I go/
It’s no better feeling, you know when I’m next to her for sure/
Oh how can they hate? Get this off my chest/
Oh girl, I know I love you, I swear your shit the best/
Friends, they know they hate, Get this off my chest/
Ah yea, I think I love you, oh baby maybe/
If we tried that we could be/
Somewhere in the climate is warm, long as you around me/
I swear that everything will be just fine/
I wish that we could take some time/
Go anywhere, baby I don’t mind/
Grown man, in my suit and tie/
Hey, there’s no we without you and I/
Oh, yea, ah yea, ah ah yea/
Hey, there’s no we without you and I/
Oh yea, ah yea, ah ah yea/
Hey, there’s no we without you and I/”

The part I love the most is that he says “There’s no WE without YOU and I” so my lady I’m not complete Mr. Raymond without my Mrs. Raymond. Hurry up and find me please.

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond and I’m Looking For My Mrs. Raymond

L E T T H E W O R D S S P R A Y

Dear Future Mrs. Raymond [The 5th Letter]

I write this letter today really tired. I had an intense dance rehearsal with the crew today and I could really use with someone to come thru and just massage my thighs. Don’t worry I have magic hands I will also give you a great massage, while I lie down and listen to you telling me about your day and that one person who annoys you.
Its funny that every girl has that one girl they don’t like and not because they did anything wrong to them but just because THEY DON’T LIKE THEM. So I wanna hear all the stories about your day, your dreams, how many kids you want to have and everything about you.

I’m still awaiting your arrival as we approach Valentines Day on Sunday. I’d know what to get you but you not here yet, so hurry up yeah? Sweet.

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond And I’m Looking For My Mrs. Raymond

L E T T H E W O R D S S P R A Y