If I Could

“Now I just spend all this time, trying to make you smile. If I could I would go back in time and make things right.”

Those words are repeatedly playing in my head, I would say like a song but those words actually come from a song I did called “If I Could”.

I don’t wanna go into detail about the song coz it just pains me that I went in studio and recorded it the same time I was left.

My name is Chriztopher Raymond and this my letter to you.

First and foremost I would like to apologize to you because in all honesty im the one that put you in the position that you’re in right now. I know you wont believe that “I never meant to hurt you” line because you’ve probably heard it a thousand times before.

This just feels like deja vu. We went through the same thing last time and yet here we are again. Fighting over some other girl that’s ruining our happiness. I cant help but fight back tears as I write you this letter. Im mad at you because you led me to believe that we were never gonna be, that you don’t believe in love anymore because of the heartbreak you’ve been through. But then again I’m mad at myself for the most part because we had a great vibe going on and I just had to ruin it by going back to the same girl as soon as you pushed me aways because I didn’t think you wanted me anymore. And as soon as things were up and running with her you came back like you felt it.

Instead of me pulling you back everytime you pushed me away I actually let you. Stupid me. And I say it again STUPID ME!! Everytime you give me a chance to a better life I keep blowing it, and this is the second time and I highly doubt that you are gonna give me a third one.

Isn’t it ironic how everytime I find the girl I want I just fvck up all because I cant see what she has to offer.

I read a quote that said:

“Men cheat not because they don’t see what they have but because they are paying more attention to what they’re missing rather than what they have”

Now all I ask for is not much, all I ask for is that you let me know how you really feel about me and if there’s anyway in Heaven me and you can be together.

Secondly all I ask for is that you tell me what you want from me, your expectations and everything.

And lastly I ask for your forgiveness and babe wont you please come back home.

“Breaking up is really hard to do. I don’t know what I would be without you. I need you. I need you. Coz I don’t know what I would be without you.”

My Name is Chriztopher Raymond and This Is #BrokenSilence


Dear Future Mrs Raymond [The 8th Letter]

Hey there.
Before I get into this letter there are 2 points that I would like to raise.
First of all I would like to apologize for not writing you for a while. Just had a lot going on for quite sometime now. The hustle is too much but I’m coping taking it one day at a time.
Secondly I just want you to know that you’re on my mind everyday and I still wonder what our first meeting would be like and what type of person you are.

This is not your ordinary “I Love You and I wanna be with you letter” yes I said those words from the heart and they came deep but these word arr coming from the heart deep down right next to pain.

I met a possible Future Mrs. Raymond and I thought that I had found you already but that wasn’t the case. See what I actually found was a woman who liked me for the person I am and everything. Wishes to have a boyfriend like me but isn’t really ready to give me her heart.
So here’s how the story goes.
I was given this here girls numbers by our mutual friend. We started texting each other and everything was going very well until this certain point where we realized that we actually have a great connection.
The way we talked was just on another level, we understood each other, have a lot of things in common and we generally love the same stuff.
This girl makes me feel some type of way, everytime she send a text I’m all smiles.
Ever had that one person that could just text you at any given time of the day no matter how bad your day is and they just brighten it up?
They just make everything about your day awesome. Now bear in mind that me and this girl have just been talking on the phone and have never actually really met. So we started discussing our meeting, when its gonna be and all that. It failed a couple of times until one fateful day we were to be at the same place at the same time. A friend of mine was hosting a show and she was to showcase her talents and I was to do the same. So in preparation of this coming show I called up my friends who I trust when it comes to handling the mami game (women in our slang), who agreed to go in with me at the show and handle business.
It was the day of the show which was happening a bit later and here I am trying to call this here girl and text her but im getting no response. So it left me thinking that maybe she blocked me. I mean there’s nothing left to do because I’ve already been trying to get to her for the past 4 days with no luck.
So me and the homies and to the show and here’s this girl, so im trying to make sure that it’s her from the pictures I have of her and yes it is her and as soon as I realize it’s her I knew I had to approach her but she was way ahead of me.
She came to me and we started talking for a bit just so we knew each other ams make sure we recognized each other. Hugs galore and laughs galore and it was finally time for me to head out and we promised to stay in touch.
She told me that she broke her phone and she will get back to me as soon as she gets another one which she did. I broke down my feelings for her as soon as she came back online and she told me she just don’t love me like that. Which broke my heart because I really like her. We’ve been talking since then but im still hurt at the fact that she loves our conversations, my personality and everything else but doesn’t see me as a potential boyfriend. Even found out that she was lying about being single, which broke my heart worse. So im still hurting at the fact that she sold me dreams.
Do you understand the pain you’re taking me through? I mean I am busy going around looking for you and yet I meet all these people that keep breaking my heart. What is a guy like me to do in order to find a girl like you?

I’m hurt that I thought that I found you but it turns out I met another dreams seller.

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond And I Thought I Found My Mrs. Raymond.

Yes. Sometimes We Pray

Sometimes we get so doubtful that we think it will never rise again.

Sometimes we get shut out by the ones we love and we loose our hope on forever being good in this life.

Sometimes we drink our problems away, well at least we think we do but the next morning we still broken and this time it’s worse because we have a headache and the song you where dancing to last night it’s still banging in your head and all of a sudden it all makes sense, it feels like the lady on the song was talking to you when she said “don’t give up”.

Sometimes we ge into so much trouble that we end up loosing ourselves, we try so hard to choose the righteous path but some things are easier said than done.

Sometimes we cry

Sometimes we even give up

But sometimes we pray

Sometimes we get driven and consumed by the spirit of greed, we fight, we curse, we cheat we steal.

Sometimes we regret the choices that we made

Sometimes we succeed and forget our humble beginnings

Sometimes we get so famous and disown our families, and spend our time and money with precious treasures that seem to know what’s best for us.

Sometimes we even feel like committing suicide because we simply can’t keep up with the consequences of our actions.

Sometimes we get consumed by greed that we even get lost in the path of finding success

Sometimes we loose our faith, we loose our religion, we loose the true meaning of being human

Sometimes we go to church to get blessed and listen to the preacher.

Sometimes we loose Faith because we belonged to the church for a long time but bad things still happen to us

But there comes a time when we put everything aside and we kneel down and close our eyes and we pray.

We don’t even need to know if the Lord is going to answer our prayers or if he even listens.

We just close our eyes and give in, we talk to this person that we feel he is the only one that’s going to listen this time.

We forget our worries and kneel down, we come face to face with our creator.
Yes sometimes we pray

Written By: Tshediso Ramone Abram Muofhe
For: The Life & Times Of A Young’n

Dear Future Mrs. Raymond [The 7th Letter]

Hey Beautiful

You will have to forgive me for not writing you something special this Valentines Day but I was just so soaked up in emotions that I wasn’t even thinking straight. Maybe its because I needed you by my side or I needed talk to you. But then again I hope this letter reaches you in time since I’m still looking for you.

Today I quote a beautiful song by the most talented artist I know.

He is a poet, an Emcee and just a great overall rapper.

He goes by the name Wale, and the song in question today is from “The Album About Nothing” its called “The Bloom (AG3)

In this song he is describing this girl aa a blooming flower. Same way I see our relationship once it stars.

I’m just going to pick up my favourite pieces off of it. So here it goes:

“Just let me hold you in a dark place/
And when it’s cold let me warm thee/
I know we both come from hard times/
Cause I’m aroused you a rose of the concrete/”

I will be your everything because I will make sure that i understand the struggles you’ve been through whether we talking about school, love life or just life in general.

“You don’t have to worry about comfort/
I’m the safest place that you wanna be/
No longer do you have to wonder/
Just open up and spread your wings/”

With me is where you belong and yes we have both been through a lot but I promise to learn from my past mistakes and just build with you.

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond and I’m Looking For My Mrs Raymond


Dear Future Mrs. Raymond [The 6th Letter]

Hey you 😊

Hope you having yourself an awesome day and I hope that you’ve had a fruitful week. To be honest with you I’ve been thinking about you alot these past couple of days, you will have to forgive me for not writing you for a few days but my schedule has just been hectic.

A friend of mine introduced me to this other Jeremih track called “Oui” and since then it has been stuck on repeat. I think its safe to say that its my favourite song at the moment I hope it will be yours too. It goes a lil some like this:

“See my baby know, where my baby go, I go/
It’s no better feeling, you know when I’m next to her for sure/
Oh how can they hate? Get this off my chest/
Oh girl, I know I love you, I swear your shit the best/
Friends, they know they hate, Get this off my chest/
Ah yea, I think I love you, oh baby maybe/
If we tried that we could be/
Somewhere in the climate is warm, long as you around me/
I swear that everything will be just fine/
I wish that we could take some time/
Go anywhere, baby I don’t mind/
Grown man, in my suit and tie/
Hey, there’s no we without you and I/
Oh, yea, ah yea, ah ah yea/
Hey, there’s no we without you and I/
Oh yea, ah yea, ah ah yea/
Hey, there’s no we without you and I/”

The part I love the most is that he says “There’s no WE without YOU and I” so my lady I’m not complete Mr. Raymond without my Mrs. Raymond. Hurry up and find me please.

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond and I’m Looking For My Mrs. Raymond


Dear Future Mrs. Raymond [The 5th Letter]

I write this letter today really tired. I had an intense dance rehearsal with the crew today and I could really use with someone to come thru and just massage my thighs. Don’t worry I have magic hands I will also give you a great massage, while I lie down and listen to you telling me about your day and that one person who annoys you.
Its funny that every girl has that one girl they don’t like and not because they did anything wrong to them but just because THEY DON’T LIKE THEM. So I wanna hear all the stories about your day, your dreams, how many kids you want to have and everything about you.

I’m still awaiting your arrival as we approach Valentines Day on Sunday. I’d know what to get you but you not here yet, so hurry up yeah? Sweet.

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond And I’m Looking For My Mrs. Raymond


Dear Future Mrs. Raymond [The 4th Letter]

I wanna start out by asking this question:

Where are you?

I’ve been searching for you all over but I cant seem to find you. See the thing is that everybody needs a little love here and there once in a while and I’m just looking to have some of that with you.

Time is rushing towards Valentine’s Day and I just want to spend that day with you, doing everything that you like.

Will you please find me quick so you could be mine already?

My Name Is Chriztopher Raymond And I’m Looking For My Mrs. Raymond